I Am Worthy
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I am worth more pain then I am pleasure. Physically I will send your body to another world, but mentally I will have your mind in a state of Chaos!! That’s not me, that’s not who I am or even what I want to be!! I don’t need any confused people around me right-now for the sake of my own mind! Everyday I affirm what I denied, to make myself understand myself & make myself as mentally strong as possible. In-turn that’s seems to give the false impression the I am too head strong & unstable as a friend because I think of no-one but myself. I must admit that I can be a very hard person to take at times, but if given the chance, I am worthy of your most inner-most thoughts. I love getting close to people not to run away from them but to have them run to me. That’s the very strange part about me, because I think that when & if meet someone they should be as honest & up-front with me as I with them. I also must admit that it has taken me a little time to get into the honesty grove of things. Today I sit with ear-plugs in my ears trying to hear my most inner-most thoughts to give to someone who won’t open-up to me! So let’ try this, a little poem or short story!!
I AM WORTHY!!!!!!
I am worthy of your most sacred trust, I know it’s hard for you to understand that I am even intrested in your most private of thoughts but I am. I am worthy of your feelings, & of the way I want to make you feel, no women in the world deserves more then you to feel like her day was spent in heaven. I am worthy of just you, I mean all of you, to what great extent will you let me go? At what point will you tell me I can go no further? I am worthy of your heart, I know it can be a hard thing to give away, but what if I guard it with my life, will that be enough? I am worthy of your kiss, I mean could it be any other way, so sweet, so soft that chills is the only thing that can describe the feeling of kissing your lips. I am worthy of last but not lease of your love, everyone needs love & needs to give it away, how else would you understand what you want out of this life.
Ok that’s it, I just needed to get that off of me to make me feel a little better about what’s going on around me. I really can’t call it right-now, but I am lost. I am at a lost for words, at a lost of feelings, but I can’t let that stop me & lose myself. I have said it once & I will say it again, this blog is for me, for me to release alot of hidden things that I hold most sacred in my mind. My mind is going to cause me alot of pain & it has, so I’ve found out, but I dont want to shut myself down so I can say that I am a simple type person & I don’t take things into my soul. Everyone is not worthy of all of you & I understand that with all my heart, but what I don’t want to do is keep myself in this shell that I call my mind & hide it from someone I want to be close too. I look at people & I see people that’s it. I see their everything, althought I may not view you in the same way you view yourself in the mirror, I see you in the way of what I need for me in my life at the time. As strange as that may sound, it don’t change the way I view what’s in my mind at first glance. I mean, I want to think that I am a simple person but my complex mind sends my mind into a overdrive of emotions that run threw me when you look at me with those eyes of your’s. I just think I was tought a little wrong or something is very wrong with me as a person because I look into people eyes & I really think that they see my soul.
One Question, Why In All Or Most Egyptian Hieroglyphs You See Alot of Eyes? What did these people of mystery know about the eyes? Whats the hidden meaning of the eyes that they understood? Ok that’s more then one question!!!!
Kingtay I
