THE KING’S COURT

                                                  Close your eyes, do you hear that? Welcome to my mind!! What do you want from me? I ask this question with love in my mind & anger in my heart. You ask me to be honest with you & I have done that, all I want is for you to understand me. How come when it’s time for me to speak my truth, you turn a deaf ear! Why must you be this way? What’s wrong with you? Matter of fact what’s wrong with me? I ask you time & time again what do you want from me? You give no words to indicate in what direction you want me to go. You say that when I write, you understand what I’m talking about, well how is it when I speak to you in your face we don’t see eye to eye on the words that I try to impress on you from my soul. My heart is all your’s if you want it, but my mind is all mine, but I will share it with you if you let me or if you want me to. I just don’t want to lie anymore I am a new man, I want to be all that you need & all that you hoped for in a life time, but most of all I don’t want to mislead you. I love you my Queen & you mite not see how deep my love runs for you, but I will kill & die for you. Can you at lease see that I can’t see my world without you. This is personal but you don’t hear me unless I’m not there in your face!! I really don’t understand what’s going wrong between us, we have a grave break-down in our communication to each-other, but know this & know this well. I found out that you were a great investigator, so I stopped all that sneaky shit, with the hopes of being a better man & a more honest man. I for the sake of my own mind, just wanted to be as up front with you as I can be, but more & more you make me see that this don’t seem to be enough. Do you love me? Sometimes I don’t know, What did you really fall in love with? Maybe you should try a little truth of your own to see what you really want!! If it’s me that’s fine, If it’s not me that’s cool to, but just note that we will always be apart of each-others lives for the sake of the little Prince. I may be doing alot of rambling in the letter to you but it’s time for you to sit down & really hear what I got to say. You read most of the things I write & think some how it’s about you. Well baby I must inform you other wise that this is the first attempt in this letter alone that I have made to reach you & only you. I write from my heart, speak from my mind & most of all It’s has nothing to do with you, this blog is for me to understand me & what I see. Maybe I should have never gave you the address if you were going to judge me. I tell everybody that I care anything about, you can’t judge me. You are not my God, you are my Queen, & you should act according. What’s your place? You are my ever-loving sprit of life, your job is to make life worth living everyday. That’s what you are suppose to provide for me, I love all the small things you do for me like, your cooking, a clean house, ironed & clean clothes, but what you have not provide is a stable sense of mind for me. Now let me explain, I being a well spoken thug if I may say so myself have a great need for mental understanding. It’s like casting a spell on the one you love. You must understand that the one you hold most dear to your heart at no time you are apart. It’s a mental connection that I long for in my world, the sort of understanding that let’s me end you statements for you & vice-versa. I have tried to let you in but you don’t want to travel passed my heart. Come into my mind, my love, I welcome you with open arms. That’s the only way to get close to me is threw my mind. My love making is mental because belive it or not I have to make you cum all in your pants before I touch you. If that don’t sound crazy then I don’t know what does. A mental connection that holds me accountable for what’s wrong in your heart of hearts. I once told you that I wish I had met you alot earlier in my life and maybe I would be a different man by now. Do you even know that I think the world of you? You are my world so why don’t you come into my world? How can you live in a house with someone that you are afraid to get close to? What sense does that make? What do you want me to do? I mean their are plenty willing to take the trip with me to the odyssey of my mind, but I did’nt marry them I married you so it’s your job my Queen! You can’t begin to question anybody about the relationship I have with them until you anwser a few questions yourself. Think about it!!!

Kingtay I